Monday, July 26, 2010

Big Mel's Top 10 Biking Pick-up Lines

Okay, so I'm happily married and not looking to meet members of the opposite sex when biking, BUT many of you are out there looking for the right person to ride into the sunset with. With that in mind, I am happy to share my Top 10 Biking Pick-up Lines:

#10 ... "You have a rockin' saddle bag!"
#9 ... "Can I ride in your draft slip?"
#8 ... "My bike only has one seat, but I'll make room for you!"
#7 ... "Do you prefer power bar or jell-shot?"
#6 ... "You send my heart rate monitor into the red!"
#5 ... "That's not a spoke wrench in my shorts!"
#4 ... "Do you want me to help determine your VO2max?"
#3 ... "Who applies your chamois butter?"
#2 ... "Do you want to see my Chamois Monkey?"

And Big Mel's #1 Biking Pick-up Line ...

#1 ... "Nice Knobbies!"

Results may vary ... use at your own risk!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Introducing The Original Chamois Monkey!

After minutes of preparation, hours of discussion, months of procrastination, and years of hoping, is proud to present The Chamois Monkey!

The Chamois Monkey is revolutionizing biking as we know it and he has just been introduced! One of the original creators of the Chamois Monkey explains it this way:

"The Chamois Monkey is an icon ... a beacon of light ... an inspiration that says, 'Biking doesn't have to be like it use to be!' It use to be that applying your chamois butter, or having your wife do it, or your mother, was a routine almost mundane task that needed to be done before biking. BUT NOW the Chamois Monkey is here! And although the Chamois Monkey is not an actual live monkey, just thinking about him will make the task of applying chamois butter more enjoyable."

But besides the buttering side, the Chamois Monkey will also inspire riders to ride faster and farther than ever before! Someone that has heard of a panel of experts said:
"While riding a bike it is important to maintain a positive attitude to achieve maximum results. One way to do this is to think of something like a skillfully trained wild monkey applying chamois butter to your 'sitting' area before you ride. The joy that comes from such thoughts, along with hours of training, will definitely help you be a better rider."
Of course image is important too. You cannot be inspired by something if you don't see it or know what it is. That is why is developing a whole series of merchandising products for you and your friends to wear and share while you bike, walk, eat, sleep, sit, stand, or whatever other activities you enjoy. Big Mel himself said,
"It's hard to make someone happy by just saying hello or good morning, but say it with The Original Chamois Monkey on your shirt, hat, mug, bumper sticker, or other things to come, and you are sure to not only strike up a conversation, but also make a friend."
Most people like monkeys. Some people know what chamois butter is. We at have brought these two things together for the betterment of your life and those around you. Never again will you go to the zoo and think,
"Oh, that's just a monkey."
Now you will think,
"I wonder if that monkey is the actual Chamois Monkey!"
Get out there and ride ... tell your friends ... it's a new day in biking! Shout it out:
"The Chamois Monkey is here! The Chamois Monkey is here! The Chamois Monkey is here!"

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Philosophical Question.

If you come to a spoon in the road when riding ... What are you suppose to do?

Monday, July 12, 2010